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Being Assertive for Life

Updated: Oct 25, 2020

Do we convey what we feel or do we feel what we have conveyed? Confusion like this can be solved by being assertive.


Our feelings and emotions are so complex phenomena and most of the time we do not really understand them which bring complexity in our life. In order to get rid of the confusion we must practice and adopt behaviour which is clear both in conveying our needs as well as our feelings.

Having clarity in our mind about what we want makes it so simple to get it because if we keep thinking about what to choose, we would become even more confused.


Planning beforehand is a good way to enhance decision making skills and continuous planning would help you to develop a pattern of thinking which would make choices quicker. The more exposure we have of a particular thing we develop an understanding about it. Introspecting our choices from the past such as what works for us and what does not, plays an important role in the formation of our choices.


Many times we have experienced saying yes to the things which we wanted to say no to and end up regretting our decisions. This happens because we are not Assertive; expressing our thoughts, opinions and choices clearly with minimal chance of being misunderstood by others and without hurting their choices, thoughts and opinions. This kind of communication and behaviour is beneficial for both us and the person we are communicating with because of clarity.


Let’s try to understand this with the help of an example. Imagine you go to an ice cream vendor and he asks you which ice cream you want. You are confused and do not know which one to choose and end up taking the one which he advises you to try.

Another version of this story could be going to the vendor and telling him that you want the Chocolate Cone which costs thirty rupees.


In the first scenario we were confused and ended up having something which somebody else chose for us. We were not clear about our own wants and needs and ended up having something which may or maybe not good for us. As for the second scenario we were clear about our choice and we got what we wanted without any sense of confusion or misunderstanding.


Whenever we want to convey something being Clear and Audible about it helps us in receiving it. Clarity eliminates any kinds of misunderstanding and being audible to others makes them aware of what our wants or needs are. Thus being Assertive in life will likely get us exactly what we want and combining it with your goals it would make you achieve them too.

Photo by Egor Myznik on Unsplash

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